Saturday, January 3, 2009

So long, my love.....

Three days and three of these......

For me, this is a very big deal MONUMENTAL ! Those who know me know of my fondness addiction to habit. Many may believe I actually have an addiction to that can of Diet Coke or Joy Juice as I so fondly refer to it but nothing could be further from the truth. The truth is that I have an addiction to addictions. How about that for an addiction? Seriously, from as young as I can remember until the age of 18, I was a nail biter. And not just your ordinary, every day nail biter. I was the EXTREME nail biter. I was on a mission. I bit my nails until they bled. I did, one time while a little girl, let them grow long enough to be painted by my mom but immediately picked the nail polish off and began nail biting again. I had proved to myself that I could quit therefore I started again. In typing class during high school, I was unable to type properly because my fingertips were so painfully sore that I could not strike the keys. I knew where the keys were but was unable to type quickly due to the nail biting. Not so good for my grade. But guess what Mr. Jacob? I am a typing whiz now. You would be so proud of me.

So I began dating my first long-term relationship at the age of 17 and he was a smoker. So guess what? I started smoking within that first year of our relationship. Both of my parents smoked and I always hated it. I hated that he smoked as well. And I had no intention of ever being a smoker. But I started smoking a Marlboro light here and there and boom! Suddenly, I was a smoker. And not just an every now and then smoker, but a chain smoker. And guess what horrible habit I dropped in the interim? Yep, the nail biting disappeared and I suddenly became the owner of multiple bottles of nail polish. I had to paint them because the nicotine made my fingernails yellow and although I smelled awful, I was NOT about to have yellow nails! Nope, none of that for me, thank you very much. Far too vain for yellow nails. ick.

So my chain smoking lasted longer than my first long-term relationship but along the way, I realized that a dry mouth occurs when one chain smokes. Imagine! In college, my roomie drank caffeine-free diet coke and I picked up that habit. But Caffeine-free Diet Coke wasn't always as easy to find at that time and caffeinated diet coke made it's way into our dorm room mini- refrigerator quite a bit. Although I preferred the "burn" of the caffeine-free variety (it tasted more like Classic Coke to me), I drank what was there due to the cotton mouth of the ciggies. And didja' know that diet coke has a way of making you thirsty? So guess what I did? Each time I finished a can, I would grab another. And hence, my next addiction.

The smoking stopped years ago and was, by far, the hardest thing I've ever quit. Not because of the addiction to nicotine but because I am a very hyper person and always need something in my hand or something to pick at. First my nails, then holding the cigarettes and then holding the diet coke. To this day, I have to keep my nails painted; if I don't, I find myself picking at them and nibbling on the ends. When I was pregnant with Tiara 2, I had such horrible heartburn that I could not eat or drink and was only able to keep down Diet Sprite. Until 3 nights ago, I still had a Diet Sprite or two every night. It was still a cold can in my hand and served the purpose.

So one of my resolutions this year was to put an end to this insanity. I know I drink far more Diet Coke than I should. I know it isn't healthy for me. And I know it has added to my weight. So I cut it out completely with the exception of one each and every morning for the last three. I actually hadn't intended to cut it out this much but had hoped to cut it down to 2 or 3 per day. But after drinking water all day, I haven't felt thirsty enough to want one. And since I don't drink coffee, I do feel justified in having my morning Joy Juice fix. I haven't had my nightly Diet Sprite fix either. Just trying to stick to the H2O and keep the momentum going.

I still have my caffeine headache which bites. I wasn't really worried about all the caffeine in my system; for me it was more of a sodium issue. I do feel like my caffeine headache may be on the way out. And I know I can beat this. I have beaten much worse before.

I just really want to get healthy this year. I want my Tiaras to know the real me. So for now, it's so long, my love..... I'm sure every time I hear a can crack open, I will remember our relationship but for now, I need to move on. It's just what I need to do.


Sandy Toes said...

What a fun blog..came over from Darcy's list!!!
-sandy toes
p.s. I am trying to give up on Diet Mt. Dew!

Kat said...

Wow. I should give up the coke zero. I have tried to cut down. I started making iced tea. But it makes me pee too much :-)

And I am an addictive type too. Never smoked though.

Shannon said...

I have an addiction to regular Coke. My sister tells me all the time, if I just switch to diet soda, the pounds will drop off. But I just can't do it!

And I know what you mean about caffeiene headaches. UGH.