So long, '08

As I reflect on 2008, there are some wonderful times to be remembered. T-Bone and I took the girls to Disney for their first visit ever. What an experience! The joy on their faces is something that I only wish I could capture in a bottle. I fear getting old and forgetting such precious times.

The other highlight of '08 for our family would be our visit to the ocean. Although T-Bone didn't go with us, the girls and I had a wonderful time with some very good friends and their children. We stayed in a beautiful home (mansion) and visited the Kennedy Space Center, downtown Disney, two different beaches and took a pirate cruise. The girls had a wonderful time and I got some wonderful photos as well.

I managed to rid myself of quite a bit of negativity that surrounded the girls and I in this last year. Resigning as co-leader of my homeschool support group was the smartest move I made last year. Looking back, I'm certain my decision was a good one as not one single member of the nearly 25 families contacted me to find out if I was alright, what happened, etc. The 3 other families that followed when I left were and are my true friends and I feel very lucky to have their families in the lives of myself and my girls. I would have never guessed the amount of drama that surrounds a HOMESCHOOL support group! For those of you (if anyone reads this) who don't know, it's WORSE than high school! It's absolutely horrible. I realize that not all support groups have these issues but the few I've been in (with one exception) have all resulted in the same negative cat fights. And although I tend to keep things to myself, I do take things very personally. And as much as I was hurt by so many of the ridiculously silly situations, I was more upset with myself for allowing my girls to be exposed to such nonsense. So I did remove us from that nastiness and have not regretted it one second.

We also said goodbye to another regular event in '08. Our little Magic Tree House book club finished up in December with book #40. I began running the club at book #3 (after taking over for another mom) and have led it 12 months a year since then. The kids all loved the club so much they never wanted to take a break in the summers so we never did. Mary Pope-Osborne has only written 40 books in the series thus far (book 41 should be out in the spring) so we caught up with her earlier this month. When we started that club, Tiara 1 was only 5 and Tiara 2 was only 2 1/2. I read the book to them each month and they LOVED the stories way back then. As Tiara 1 learned to read, she began reading the stories each month to Tiara 2. I can't believe the club is actually over. It has been a constant throughout our homeschooling journey, thus far.

But the kids started requesting another book club way back last summer when they knew MTH was ending. So starting next month, we will begin the Carole Marsh Mystery series club. Carole Marsh is an incredibly talented writer who happens to be local to our area so I'm hoping to arrange a visit from her to one of our club meetings.

I could go on and on about '08 but honestly, I'm ready and excited for 2009 to begin. I always feel a sense of freshness and rejuvination with the passing of the old year. Am I looking forward to turning 40 in '09? Not hardly. But I AM looking forward to NOT feeling 40 which is a priority for me personally this year. The extra weight I have put on since my girls has got to go this year. And hell or high water, it will go. So wish me luck.

BE THANKFUL

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.
If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something,
for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times,
During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations,
because they give you the opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge,
because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes,
They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you are tired and weary,
because it means you've made a difference.

It's easy to be thankful for the good things.
A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who
are also thankful for the setbacks.

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.

I WILL .......... be back

I have not been in bloggyville for quite some time now. Circumstances in my life led me down a path which I have still not quite recovered from.

It seems that every year around my birthday I feel the shift of energy overcoming my life. I realize the need to "clean house" within and normally it isn't as complex a process as it has seemed this year. The actual birthday came and went without much (if any) hoopla but the life-changing events started pre-birthday and still haven't ended.

I feel the weight of this on my soul. I feel the ache of this on my heart. I understand the need to move forward and wish to do so. But there seem to be so many loose ends which are still fraying beyond my control. I've always been a very *in-control* person- everything has it's place, every idea needs a plan of attack and with those, I'm able to rest easier. I've never been one of the belief that everything will work itself out with no help. I've never believed that regardless of what I do, I will have what I need when I need it. I was raised to be a realist. It may not have been the intent of my parents to raise me as such but living the childhood I lived, I am a realist. I don't have pipedreams. I don't tend to see the silver lining of the cloud. I don't believe in la-la land. I do find myself worrying much more at times than I probably should but this is a characteristic of being a realist.

I'm not saying I don't have dreams. I definitely have dreams. Do I hope my dreams are someday realized? Of course I do. Do I believe my dreams will be realized at some point? Maybe. Do I feel it necessary to pursue those dreams in order to be whole? Hell no. Yes, my dreams are numerous. But I'm a realist. My needs are few. And those needs are centered around my children. If not for my children, my needs would be even less. And my wants? I honestly don't have those any more. With the exception being that I WANT my needs for my family realized. And fulfilled.

So while I am swimming in this sea of multiple changes, I have failed to blog. At all. About anything. I am a writer. A poet. An inward thinker. A blogger at heart. But I, too, am a loner. An only child. Not an introvert. But a very private person. So for those of you who might have occasionally stumbled upon my blog, I will return. Hopefully more "whole" than I am at this point. Hopefully after Christmas, I can focus more on my checklist of personal items that will help me heal....